Funny english

by Michelle Fortes

Enjoy the fun & the pun.

Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!

Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better not tell you, it might spread!

Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?

A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

Q: Music Teacher: What’s your favourite musical instrument?

A: Kid: The lunch bell!

Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?

A: You’re pointless!

Q: What do you call a ghosts mom and dad?

A: Transparents!

Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?

A: A Barbercue!

Q: What do you call a person that chops up cereal.

A: A cereal killer!

Q: What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry?

A: Urgent Tina!

Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?

A: A heavy discussion!

Q: What kind of emotions do noses feel?

A: Nostalgia!

Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

A: Thunderwear!

Q: What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?

A: Trouble!

Q: Where do boats go when they get sick?

A: The dock!

Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?

A: A Mer-Maid!

Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?

A: Because he’s always spotted!

Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: Why did the barber win the race?

A: Because he took a short cut!

Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing!

Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?

A: To get a root canal!

Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?

A: Because they’re all in High School!

Q: Why was the math book sad?

A: Because it had too many problems!

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