Lawyer jokes

by Michelle Fortes

A day before Valentine’s day, I saw a Lawyer friend purchasing 40 Valentines Day Cards from a Gift shop… 
On all the Cards, at sender’s place, he wrote:
“My darling sweetheart,  hope you recognised me…! Let us meet in the Evening…! Love you…! 💌”
When asked, he said, “On last year’s Valentine’s Day, I posted 20 such cards in our locality, and got 5-cases for Divorce…!”


Everything is Fair in Business…!!! 


Once a Advocate was travelling by train in A/c class.  He was traveling from Manmad to Bangalore! 

He was traveling alone! 

Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth! 

 Advocate was pleasantly Happy!

The lady kept smiling at him!  This made d advocate even more Happy!

Then she went and sat next to him! 

The advocate was bubbling with Joy! 

She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear ” Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me 

else I will shout and tell everybody that you are  harassing and misbehaving with me” 

The advocate stared blankly at her!

He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote ” I  can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say” 

The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him! 

Advocate took her note, kept it in his pocket! 

He got up and told her in clear tones…”Now shout & scream!!”


LL.B. class:

Professor: if you have to give an orange, what will you say?

Student: take this orange.

Prof: no. Tell like a lawyer.

Student: I Ramakrishna son of Satyamurthy resident of Bangalore, Karnataka do here by solemnly affirm and voluntarily and consciously declare out of my volition and without any fear or favour or pressure or undue influence that I’m giving this fruit called orange on which I have absolute right, title and interest along with its peel, juice,seed and pulp. 

I am also giving you absolute and unqualified right and interest to cut, peel,store in freeze or eat it. 

You will also have the right to give this along with its peel, juice,seed or pulp to any one whosoever.

I further declare that I will be solely responsible and liable for any dispute till today pertaining to this orange. And after this conveyance today, my relationship  with this orange will cease to exist.

Prof: My lordship, where is your feet…. 


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