Creation

by Michelle Fortes

‚ÄčI  think  this   is  hilarious !  I NEVER  HEARD  CREATION  EXPLAINED THIS  WAY  BEFORE !!!

In the  beginning, God  created  the Heavens  and  the  Earth  and  populated the  Earth  with  broccoli, cauliflower  and spinach,  green  and  yellow,  and

red  vegetables  of  all  kinds,  so  Man  and Woman  would  live  long  and  healthy lives.

Then  using  God’s  great  gifts,  Satan  created  Ben  and  Jerry’s  Ice  Cream  and  Krispy  Creme  Donuts.   And  Satan said, “You  want  chocolate  with  that ?” And  Man  said, “Yes !”  and  Woman  said, “and as  long  as  you’re  at  it,  add  some sprinkles.” And  they  gained  10 pounds. And  Satan  smiled.

And  God  created  the  healthful  yogurt  that  Woman  might  keep  the  figure  that Man  found  so  fair.  

And  Satan  brought forth  white  flour  from  the wheat,  and  sugar  from  the  cane  and combined  them.  And  Woman  went  from size  6  to  size  14.

So  God  said, “Try  my  fresh  green salad.”   

And   Satan  presented Thousand-Island  Dressing,  buttery croutons  and  garlic  toast  on  the side.

And  Man  and  Woman  unfastened their  belts  following  the  feast!!!

God  then  said, “I  have  sent  you  heart healthy  vegetables  and  olive oil  in  which to  cook  them.”   

And  Satan  brought  forth deep  fried  fish  and  chicken-fried  steak  so  big  it  needed  its  own  platter.   And Man  gained  more  weight  and  his cholesterol  went  through  the  roof.   

God then  created  a  light,  fluffy  white  cake, named  it “Angel  Food  Cake,” and  said, “It  is  good.”   

Satan  then  created chocolate  cake  and  named  it  

“Devil’s  Food.”

God  then  brought  forth  running shoes  so  that  His  children  might  lose  those  extra  pounds.  

And  Satan  gave  cable  TV  with  a  remote  control  so  Man  would not  have  to  toil  changing  the  channels.   And  Man  and Woman  laughed  and  cried  before  the  flickering  blue  light  and  gained  pounds.

Then  God  brought  forth  the  potato, naturally  low  in  fat  and  brimming  with  nutrition.   

And  Satan  peeled  off the  healthful  skin  and  sliced  the

starchy  center  into  chips  and  deep-fried  them.  And  Man  gained  pounds.

God  then  gave  lean  beef  so  that  Man might  consume  fewer  calories  and  still satisfy  his  appetite.   

And  Satan  created McDonald’s  and  its  99-cent  double cheeseburger.   Then  said, “You  want  fries with  that ?”   And  Man  replied, “Yes !  And super  size  them !”   And Satan  said, “It  is good.”   And  Man  went  into  cardiac  arrest.

God  sighed  and  created  quadruple  bypass  surgery.

Then  Satan  created  private medical  insurance  !!!

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